#i dont really write as much as i draw but i DO write from time to time
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hiii!!! loving your locket comics!!!!!! just wanted to ask a few questions about your process, if you dont mind :D
whats your general process like?
do you do thumbnails, how do they look like?
roughly how long does it take you to complete a comic panel or page?
how detailed are your sketches? do you do multiple?
do you have any specific techniques for lineart?
do you typically use references for your comics?
generally, how much effort and focus do you put into your comics?
do you have any advice for drawing comics?
sorry for for the absolute bombardment of questions, lmao. just really enjoy your art and comics and very interested in the behind the scenes!! feel free to skip any questions (or this whole ask) well wishes and salutations!!! :D
Hello! I'm so glad you enjoy my comics, and I totally don't mind breaking down the process!
For a normal comic page, I would likely actually write a script since it's much easier to keep track of dialogue and actions. But since these are short, I just write it into my thumbnails.
Step 1: Thumbnails. Easily one of my favorite parts, since I get to throw all my ideas down. I do these comics on a 2-panel grid, so I don't have to worry about actual paneling, and it allows me to focus more on the setup of each shot. Think of it like storyboarding!
Step 2: Add cleaner thumbs if needed. I actually made 3D models of Deadlock and Ratchet's chest in Blockbench, so I often trace them to save myself some time! (It might look insane, but I promise, for me, it's not.)
Step 3: Lettering! I actually like to get the lettering out of the way right away since it can take a while. Ever since I started treating lettering as its own form of art, my skills have gotten better, but it also takes much longer.
Step 4: Clean sketch! I'm just now finding out that people think I’m doing lineart for these? I am not… these are all just clean sketches. Maybe doing the blackwork gives the illusion of lineart?
Step 5: Color! Most of these comics are in black and white to save time, but it also lets me focus on values and shot framing again. I add my glow overlay to the eyes, and boom, done!
Roughly how long does it take you to complete a comic panel or page?
It really depends on how complicated the panels are. I like to step out of my comfort zone. I know the Grimlock and Misfire one took longer because of how many panels there were and the fact that I was drawing characters I’d never drawn before, but I’d say it usually takes around 5-8 hours for a whole page.
Do you typically use references for your comics?
I'm literally the reference GOD- we all know this. But yes, I love using references and doing character studies. I have yet to do a study on LL Drift, but I have a few references of him that I’ve made.
Generally, how much effort and focus do you put into your comics?
I mean, I wouldn't say I don't put in a lot of effort? I put in enough. I don't know… there's a point in the clean sketch process where you can kind of just turn off your brain. I'm passionate about comics, but we can all agree there's a point in a drawing where you just zone out.
Do you have any advice for drawing comics?
I think being able to balance dialogue and visuals is super important. I don't know if you guys have picked up a graphic novel from Barnes & Noble recently, but if you open a page, you'll see a character sitting with the biggest bubble you've ever seen, filled with paragraphs of text. While I get it—being a novel as much as it's graphic—I personally like to visualize emotions more. If it means adding two more panels to make an interesting dialogue setup, I don't mind doing it. Another thing to remember is that not all panels need to have details or 100% effort. Sometimes you need to simplify and move on, and that's okay! Those two extra panels that are giving you a better stage setup might be the ones that need fewer details and less time. I would consider my comic page work and my 4-panel work very different. One is about paneling, setup, and visuals, while the other is very much like storyboarding. Both are skills you learn with practice and study.
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HOLA! ❤️ First of all, dropping some kudos because I love you and your art so much (basically my blog can be your side blog too at this point!) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Second, from the character ask, I'd like to know about 3,4 and 20 for both Eloise and Leo 😁
Hope you have a wonderful day/night!
HOLA MI ITALIANA FAVORITA💓 I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR ALL OF THE YAPPING I'M ABOUT TO DO🤭 will this get you to finally visit me🥺
I'm going to answer these for Eloise SINCE I already did 3 for Leo & I have someone asking me about 4 for Leo as well🥺💓
3) What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?
This is a tricky answer…just bc my evil gremlin mc in the game has NOTHING to do with Eloise in my writing. I guess I would say her name? I was just thinking of what would be the most British sounding name I could think of when I started playing in December🙂↕️
But then my imagination took hold of me…I started thinking about Eloise’s backstory…and when I thought of how all of her family dynamics/how she grew up would influence her personality I started to be really dissatisfied with the game and the lack of choice we have while playing. SO I gave up on the game completely after the restricted section quest and started to use my free time to write my fic in January🥹🫶 but her backstory, personality, and role in my story are definitely the most interesting things about her to me!!
Bonus: my first ever drawings of her in January!!! Bad quality bc it’s an insta story screenshot😆💓 (I redid one for my fic🤭)
4) And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?
Hmmmmm😭😭 I think her personality is what I struggled with the most and continue to struggle with as I write!!!! I always want her to feel like a *real* person with flaws, but ALSO convey to the reader why they should love her as much as I do. I think I’m successful bc I get comments/messages a lot from people telling me how much she resonates with them (and she’s some people’s favorite???😳💘) but I STILL CANT HELP BUT FEEL INSECURE ABOUT IT !!! It’s so hard sometimes keeping in mind how she is and how she thinks, and I never want her to be wishy-washy or doing things out of character for her. It’s a fun challenge but a challenge😭💓 (also her appearance changes like crazy in my art but whatever I’m learning😆)
20) bonus: share any additional thoughts, art, favorite scenes, anything you’ve been waiting for a chance to ramble about.
DES YOU REALLY WANTED ME TO YAP WHEN YOU SENT THIS MESSAGE😆😆😆😆😆
I really, REALLY want to yap about the foreshadowing and scenes I’m working towards in my fic BUT IVE ONLY TALKED TO LIKE ONE OR TWO PEOPLR ABOUT MY PLANS ( @choccy-milky & @kay9leo 🤭🤭) AND I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING EVEN THOUGH I DONT HAVE MANY READERS😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 maybe in the future…
This is me redrawing the chess scene from my fic bc I’m really dissatisfied with how Seb looks in the original (he’s probably my LEAST FAVORITE TO DRAW BC IT’S IMPOSSIBLE !!!!!!!)
And ummmm….hmmm Eloise is DEFINITELY not a self-insert character to me, but I DID give her aspects of myself. Things like…we have the same birthday (January 31) and eye color (dark green), and I tend to overthink a lot and can be in my own head maybe too much, but I’m ALSO a lot more assertive and gremlin than she is😆😆😆😆 I love the fact that she’s so soft and sweet💓💓💓 & I just want to wrap her up in a big hug and never let go of her🥺🤲
(Imelda is my self-insert tbh…and this moment in my fic was ME😤:
At the sight of Imelda's worried face her throat contracted - Eloise found she couldn't speak - and she burst into tears again. They were rolling, hot and salty, down her cheeks and she hid her crumpled face back into the crooks of her arms. Imelda immediately wrapped her arms around Eloise, and she melted into her friend's embrace. Hands gently stroking her hair as she cried and cried and cried, murmurs whispered in soft Spanish to the top of her head.
She was overwhelmed, desolate, lonely.
I feel really bad for Eloise at this point in her story, but I also find it really interesting to keep poking her to see when she finally snaps and decides that she NEEDS to stand up for herself and what she wants. She hasn’t quite realized that she’s the only one who’s ultimately in charge of her life & I’m really really enjoying watching her become the person she’s meant to be🥹🫶🥹🫶
#omg it’s embarrassing to talk so much😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#but you wanted it…🤭#posting without proofreading😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌#anyways ummmm I still have a LOT of asks to get through😆😆😆😆😆#slowly but surely!!!!!!!!#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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I drew a thing!!! You know this one!!!
#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#this took like the whole week#it probably wouldn't have if i didn't decide to redraw the template entirely from scartch#but you dont get it#i REALLY wanted the stars to have four points#anyway#im gonna probably do more sketches now#like get back to the sonic ones#or more AA au#if anyone is more familiar with aa case writing hmu because i have no idea what the hell im doing#but i really want to make this fangame#wait i haven't mentioned it before i am kinda working on an aa fangame for isat#but i wanna hold off on doing too much spritework until i have AT LEAST the tutorial case figured out#and i have literally no idea how to write a case that's like not very difficult and makes sense#anyway yeah i should probably stop this rant#OH WAIT ONE LAST THING#i know nothing about the series this art trend is from i just know people draw ships like this and i wanted to do it too#harune draws#I forgot i have to tag my art if i want it to be findable later
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities
#txt#was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn#and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting?#i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings#im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to#overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do#its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice#the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you#still lack#even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is.#and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included)#i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at#such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them#i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own#personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes#people really do find things that they love within them.#anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art#sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on#and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me#but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back#and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit#that it’s all worth it. ya know?
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redownloaded an old art program
#specifically its tayasui memopad…#sketches was like borderline unusable last i redownloaded it#which was like.. oct last year#maybe its gotten better but i dont feel like bothering with it anymore haha#memopad i never used much aside from little scribble doodles (id make a scribble and try to turn it into something)#but its changed a lot since i last used it.. which was like four years ago so i cant be too surprised i guess XD#its still pretty jank but in a more manageable way . i missed rhe sketches brushes theyre very lovely#sorry for all the rambling haha#ive been feeling really shitty lately and have barely been able to draw it feels like#a lot of what i have made ive had to really.. force myself to get out. and i havent been as satisfied with it as id like to br#this is kind of janky still but i like it and i had fun making it#everytime i draw these two its exactly the same cuz i have to remind myself what their designs even were everytime >_<‘’#hopefully i do some more stuff today. its already getting late but im feeling a little better#getting back into the swing of things or whatever#i thought someone on af was ghosting me or whatever but turns out they were just . busy. ( <- figures i need to stop assuming haha) and#they also made this amazing revenge im absolutely in love with its so cute#really made my day =)#scribbles#furry tag#good god i write way too much in these#sorry#anyways#queueing this to post again (its the 14th as im writing this) i feel like that worked alright for me last time#im kinda making this post impulsively i am. constantly going back nd forth on whether i even like posting my art nowadays#oh well#yeah queue i wanna know#mother series#<- i forgot to tag that . for blog organization mostly these r just#nothing burger npcs barely anyone cares abt (nintens sisters lol)
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I cant show the whole thing cuz yeah
I think I drew this last year
It's not the most disproportionate thing I've drawn. I can and will draw worse
Its pretty bad I kinda agree with the "ew" part
#there was a guy in highschool that i really wanted to be friends with#and he drew women like he was in love with the entire concept#he drew the form with so much care. i saw his art once and i really really really wanted to be his friend#i got nervous and ran away because his art was too good#last day of highschool classes i pushed him a note asking if theres any way i could support his art#my handwriting was notoriously uniquely horrible so i thought hed know it was me#esp because we worked on group projects together and i always took care of the writing#bro saw the note and thought it was from someone else and then time ran out and i never saw him again#i bet he draws women even prettier now#one flaw i have is that in the first minute of meeting someone new i start spamming jokes to see what they laugh at#if they dont laugh then im out of options. idk what kind of personality they have. so then i run away and get super shy#idk why i do that but i tried making jokes with him and he didnt laugh so i pretended to die#apparently i found out later from another girl in his art class he found my jokes funny he just doesnt visibly react to anything#i want to see his art so bad#I WANNA SEE HIS ART I WANNA SEE IT
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Dragon a Day 2023 - Day 9 - A dragon in need of some lore
#dragonaday2023#dragon#flight rising#fr banescale#frfanart#art#digital art#drawing#my dragons#my dragons dont really have much lore so i had a lot of options for this one lol#he's a g1 from when banescales were first released#(i got him off the ah since i wasnt on fr yet at the time)#i feel like i could do something interesting with him being one of the first banescales but im. not very good at writing lore#hes not fully gened quite yet ive been meaning to but i forgor
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Ranking the Psichikers based on drawability instead of doing my homework. By drawability I mean how closely I can draw them to canon design btw. Criteria is:
1. Do I need a reference to draw this character?
If I do not need a reference = +1
Sometimes I need it= 0.5
If I do need a reference = 0
2. Are they fun to draw?
Yes = +1
Some parts are fun = +0.5
Not at all = 0
3. Do I want to draw them often?
ALL THE TIME = +1
Frequently = +0.75
Sometimes = +0.5
Not very much = +0.25
Never I only draw them when I have to = 0
4. Can I be creative with this character?
Yes = +1
Sometimes= 0.5
No = 0
That is four questions! Exactly the number of PSIkickers, what a coincidence! Totally not planned at all!
Ranking begins:
4. Reita Toritsuka (1.75/4)
Sorry tori. I need a reference for his hair pretty much everytime I draw him, which to be fair is so far like 4 times in total. Honestly I have a love-hate relationship with his headband because on the one hand, it's kinda iconic, on the other it's fucking horrendous I'm sorry.
Moving on from the hair, the most fun I have with drawing him would be his uniform (I like the rosary beads and Geta) and his face since he's an expressive character so I get to do a lot of fun stuff with that ( this technically does not count since it's not a part of the design but his points are already kinda low, I felt generous).
Lastly, no, I don't really have many "creative" ideas with him, I had maybe 3 but I never really felt passionate enough to finish them I'm sorry.
2. Mikoto Aiura (2/4)
This feels way too low but I can't really break the rules.
I do need to use references to draw her everytime I do ( which I think is...1 time? That is criminally low what the fuck am I doing) mainly due to her hair, speaking of which, I LOVE HER HAIR I LOVE HER NAILS I LOVE HER EYES I LOVE HER!!!! She is so fun to draw and it's so fucking nice to have a character with some fucking MELANIN OMG HER SKIN I AJDBDJ SHADING TANNED/DARK SKIN IS SO FUN WHY DONT I DO IT MORE OFTEN. This doesn't count since it's supposed to be about their canon design but there are so many outfits you can put her in it's crazy!!! I think it's mainly because she's kinda the only one with an aesthetic idk.
I WANNA DRAW HER ALL THE TIME I JUST DONT FOR SOME REASON WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!??? Off topic I do not draw any of the female characters that often even though I regularly lose my mind thinking about them what's up with that?
Do I get to be creative with her? Not really but that's not her fault that's on me, she's perf I'm just uncreative that's all.
So sadly this is her rank. ATM anyway I'll draw her so often after this trust.
2. Saiki Kusuo (2/4)
He scored 0.5 on everything... How!??? Last I checked he is not Satoru Hiroshi.
Main reason I need a reference is due to the hair which for the most part is a bunch of zig zags and so I don't need it that often.
He is fun to draw, mainly his eyes they are very pretty. I do want to draw him often, I doodle him a lot. I think it's the limiters and glasses. I don't have to worry about him looking accurate cuz if you throw the limiters and glasses on it immediately looks like saiki so Im not that scared about drawing him.
Fun fact a lot of times when I'm drawing him he ends up looking like Kuboyasu. Until I put limiters on. Then all of a sudden it's saiki! Amazing! Chouno Uryoku who?
I guess I'm somewhat creative with him? I have a few ideas laying around, one or two animatics, maybe a fic and a couple crossover fanart ideas. Dunno if I'll ever get around to doing it though.
1. Akechi Touma (3/4)
I SO BADLY WANNA GIVE HIM A 4/4 MAN.
No I do not need a reference I drew him once and then his hair and face were ingrained into my long term memory for eternity in fact i remember it so well I subconsciously gave it to an OC.
Is he fun to draw? FUCK YEAH HE IS. Hair was the problem for all the other characters but not this one, no sir! because THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS THE HAIR THAT GIVES ME GENDER EUPHORIA. It was my first 'boy' hair cut and I love how androgynous it made me look so looking at him gives me pure joy. And his eyes GOD I LOVE HIS BIG PURPLE EYES SJDIEBD.
I used to want to draw him all the time but I've drawn him too frequently so I need to take a small (miniscule really) break so I can continue liking it. Maybe that'll give me time to draw more Aiura. Anyways I gave him 0.75 on that part but that's entirely my fault for over drawing him. He did no wrong I take the blame.
Can I be creative with him? No not really since just drawing him covered in blood and/or eating sweets does not count as creative in this criteria. But I do have many ideas of just putting him in other universes and meeting my other favs and then the two of them ramble about an interest of choice and are just get to talk talk talk and talk I love them I love their yapping onjdhdiehd and I have a couple of animatic ideas I may never finish. GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE HAS A 4/4 IN MY HEART.
Oh god it's 1:22 am I should finish this homework.
#needing references is bad in this context because i dont always have acess to ine when drawing them#Writing this made me realise i dont really draw the ideas i have that often whoch i should do#specially the akechi meets my other blorbos one thatd give me so much serotonin id be filled with pure love and joy for every creature big#and small after i draw akechi in the same room as No 1 from artemis fowl who i should also draw more often#i might change my opinions on this come the morning but who cares#okay homework time alright buh bye#saiki k
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Saying Goodbye to My Mask event on project sekai may have been a premonition of having my own mental health tank to the same level as Mafuyu's because well. Let's just say. The depression. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
#miko talking#well. even though i try to get help it feels like my parents sabotage me more#the only comfort is realizing my feelings and wondering about it#frankly i dont like acknowledging them bc then i feel like im not playing up to the role everyone expects of me but#i want to express it in my stuff but I've been losing my will to keep drawing and writing and i guess#this is what depression is like. i just never expected to find myself actually going through it#i thought i left that era of havingthe worst time of my life but i feel like these past few years#are definitely my most worst#i think thats one thing games like pjsk has me realizing#and why i find comfort in n25#because to me they feel like pieces of me that have been written down#idk why im ranting lol??? i just want to be honest with how i feel but i end up going back to trying to be a people pleaser#ewwwww. i hate this. in truth i dont like people all that much. neither do i like making new friends#it's crazy because I'm always saying sure! when someone asks even though i know I'm not going to feel anything from it#sorry..... but I don't care enough anymore.... maybe one day i will#but right now not really..... at least at the moment.#these friendships with followers are in truth just parasociality and i dont want it after what happened the first time#especially with how two-faced/double standards people are like#people are the worst ^^ i wish the world was a kinder place for everyone but i dont know how much longer i can keep up with this#if only people minded their own business. im not someone to be babied by people who think they know better.#what a pain (◕ᴗ◕✿)
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#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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wiki how do I stop spiraling about my life once every 2 weeks I'm getting sick of it
#personal#i just want to make things so bad#it hurts to even look at something anyones made bc im not doing it#i started so late and its still so hard. i got months without doing anything bc im just exhausted from daily life#if i spend more time with my girlfriends i feel like im closer to them but then i have no time for art#if im making something im spending less time with them#and i like my job so much. i really do. i even considered just saying fuck it and going into library sciences#but i still come home barely able or willing to talk sometimes. and i dont know how to fix that#and i feel so unfulfilled and extremely lonely even tho i have friends#but i can barely get myself to draw or write even when i have so many ideas#i feel so uncomfortable in my body and so tired of trying with therapists and doctors#all of it makes me so anxious i feel sick#so Frustrated i feel dizzy. and then i still cant do anything!!!!#i dont want to live here anymore i just want to be with everyone else. but everyone is moving away or planning to. us included#but no one in the same place. it makes me so sad#i dont know what to do or how to do it when i dont have motivation to do the bare minimum#maybe i just like torturing myself by thinking i can do the things i want instead of aceepting i cant. :/ cringes#for anyone that has somehow read this far ill be ok in like 20 minutes im just having a moment dw. im fine. will handle it like an adult#and not spend to much time thinking about this
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Welcome back to tumblr! Hope you enjoyed your break
It was very stressful. Ended up failing the marking period for English, but not by as much as I was failing before. Could still pull up the overall grade by the end of the semester.
#started writing a fic a few days ago. been a while since ive done that.#so far felix is very out of character but he's only gonna be the focus for the first chapter. plus i might go back and rewrite him.#maybe i should wait until the new chapter comes out tho so it's relevant to updated canon#anyway echos started brainrotting about chris in a /pos way so yeah a lot of my break has been rethinking old analysis#started to notice that he's a lot more fun if i get in the mindset that he's not poorly written he's just literally isaac's antagonist#also my siblings have been hyperfixating on DC so i watched a batman series. i think they're very disappointed in me for choosing batwheels.#snowy best vehicle#. what else#oh ive been doodling a nightmare design#been liking the idea of him and dream not being skeletons but dont wanna draw/write them as their canon human designs#because (if i'm correct) they get those designs at some point later in the story. and i don't want to confuse the timeline like that.#so ive been working on concept sketches for a less human design for them. ive also noticed that them being humans in canon actually#makes a lot of sense because the other guardians don't really have any connection between their species and it can be assumed that#whatever they are exists in the universes/multiverse they're from. so it makes sense for the twins to be humans because the utmv has humans.#. but i also like how they couldn't be given the human forms at first because of the lack of holes.#so the design im working on has gill/stripe-looking vents for the energy to come out of.#also gonna try to add little fire wisps into the design because i love their true forms so much#anyway i dont think there's been more that ive done. other than schoolwork. and watching qsmp.#oh i started working on an animatic. but i do that all the time. it'll be a bigger occasion if i finish one lol.#think im gonna still keep interaction on tumblr to a smaller scale because i wanna keep getting stuff done
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yeah im 007
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7 different discord chat channels i use to talk to myself because i am unhinged
#helps me keep track of movies#like i write down movies i see titles of because i WILL forget about it#and i dont trust sticky notes... ive had them disappear before so i am not using it ever again#but cant trust discord to always be up either so /shrug/#anyway. i also post abt my drawing/writing ideas even tho i never write#it's good to jot them down#even tho i havent done it in months... because i never got around to doing them </3 oof#not even in my 2 week break do i have time to do that. end up playing games or watching movies instead /sobs/#i also have a not very safe for when youre at work channel#thats probs the most active one because idk. loneliness and horniness go hand in hand#i also have a channel where i post screenshots from movies as references#in case i dont already have a folder created. its a quick way to just put it somewhere#so discord is useful to use by yourself!#the only other channel im active in is WME if im ever doing m+ dungeons#sometihng im not doing currently because i have zero motivation. doing delves lol#its pretty much the only other channel i ever look at or am IN really#i dont have online friends or a group to hang out with which doesnt help with the loneliness#not looking for a pity party or an invite (dont. i wont fit in lol) just stating the facts how i feel#delete later#maybe i should actually pug m+. might make some friends lmao
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Saw a video of someone drawing a more realistic style and thought I'd give it a shot myself with Paris (who happens to be my artstyle guinea pig atm lol 👉👈)
Im ngl my knowledge of anatomy is nonexistent but it think this turned out okay! This didnt turn out looking as realistic as i was aiming for but i sort of got the effect i was going for so that counts!!
#TME#TME art#Paris Valerian#im so inconsistent with these tags#into the queue this goes owo#i LOVE drawing TME's characters so much waaaah#im going to keep posting TME fanart thingies and probably fanfics on AO3 whenever i get the time to sit down and draw/write#so i dont have a schedule for posts but i promise ill make more TME fanart!#it's so funny how i feel more confident drawing Paris than I do Helene#also ik i keep fucking up on Paris's eyes but i legitimately keep forgetting to change his eye shape when i draw it#the eyes should curve downwards instead of upwards and yet i keep defaulting to my typical way i draw eyes#he's got a funny kind of half-lidded look to his eyes in the manhwa that makes him feel soft and thoughtful yet kind of dumb#and idk i really appreciate how his eye shape helps sell the way he's rarely truly interested in things bc it's relatable af#Paris absolutely clicks with me as a character and the amount of cognitive dissonance i feel towards him bc of it is really funny to me#anyways my eyes are watering from staying up too long so into queue this goes~
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